This February 1, states across America observe National Unclaimed Property Day, chosen to remind you about a surprisingly widespread financial problem: billions of dollars in forgotten assets currently held by state governments, waiting for their rightful owners to claim them.

This observance exists for one practical reason: to help you reclaim money and assets that already belong to you and to prevent future losses before they happen. Understanding what unclaimed property is, how assets become lost, and what you can do to protect yourself could mean recovering funds that could be put to good use, and ensuring your family never loses track of what you’ve worked hard to build.

What Unclaimed Property Actually Is

When most people hear the term “unclaimed property,” they might imagine abandoned real estate or forgotten treasures hidden in old storage units. The reality is far more ordinary, and it affects millions of Americans every year.

Unclaimed property refers to financial assets that have gone dormant because there’s been no activity or contact between the owner and the institution holding the funds for a certain period, typically between one and five years depending on state law. When a company can’t reach the owner after this legally required time, it must turn the asset over to the state through a process called escheatment. The state doesn’t own the property permanently but becomes the caretaker until someone claims it.

The types of assets that become unclaimed are surprisingly common and include forgotten bank or credit union accounts, often opened years ago with minimal balances that seemed too small to worry about. Uncashed checks or refunds frequently go missing after someone moves without updating their address.

Other examples include stocks, dividends, or mutual funds purchased decades ago and forgotten, life insurance payouts that beneficiaries never knew existed, contents of abandoned safe-deposit boxes, and even payroll checks from former employers. When someone changes jobs and moves without leaving a forwarding address, that final paycheck can easily become unclaimed property.

How Assets Disappear and Why It Can Happen to Anyone

People lose track of assets for remarkably ordinary reasons that have nothing to do with irresponsibility or carelessness. Changing jobs means potentially losing track of old retirement accounts amid the chaos of starting a new position. Name changes through marriage or divorce can disconnect you from accounts registered under a previous name, especially if you don’t notify every institution about the change.

When a loved one dies, family members often don’t know about every account or policy the deceased held. Without a comprehensive list of assets or a system for tracking financial information, important accounts simply get overlooked. This may account for significant sums that the deceased wanted their loved ones to have, and which could have made a difference in their lives.

The scope of this problem is staggering. Across all 50 states, governments collectively hold an estimated $70 billion in unclaimed property. According to the National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators, states return billions annually to rightful owners, yet the total amount held continues to grow each year. This means that despite ongoing awareness efforts, more property becomes unclaimed faster than it gets reunited with owners.

These statistics represent real people who worked hard for their money, saved diligently, or were entitled to benefits they never received. The problem isn’t going away on its own because modern financial life has become increasingly fragmented. Most people maintain relationships with multiple banks, investment companies, insurance providers, and employers throughout their lives, creating numerous opportunities for assets to fall through the cracks. Accounts are managed online, without paper statements, and unless loved ones have knowledge of the accounts, plus the passwords to access them, assets will get lost.

The Purpose Behind the February 1st Observance

National Unclaimed Property Day was established with three clear goals. First, it encourages people to search state databases and reclaim lost assets that belong to them. Second, it educates the public about how easily property becomes unclaimed, helping people understand the problem isn’t just about irresponsibility. Third, it aims to prevent future losses through better financial organization and planning.

February 1 was chosen intentionally as an early-year date, serving as a “clean-up and reset” moment before tax season begins and before another year passes with assets sitting idle in state custody. States, consumer advocates, and financial professionals use the day to push a simple message: “Check. Claim. Prevent.”

Taking Action: What You Can Do Right Now

The most immediate action you can take right now is to search  (or, “check”) for unclaimed property in your name. Every state maintains a free, searchable database of unclaimed property. Visit your state treasurer or comptroller’s website and look for the unclaimed property section. The search takes just a few minutes and requires only your name and the state where you’ve lived.

There is no one database to search for property, so if you’ve moved during your life, search in every state where you’ve resided or worked. The National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators maintains a website at unclaimed.org with links to all state databases, making it easy to search multiple states quickly.

When searching, try variations of your name including your maiden name if applicable, nicknames you may have used professionally, and names with and without middle initials. Companies may have listed your property under any of these variations. If you find property that belongs to you, the claiming process is free. States don’t charge fees to return property to rightful owners, though you may need to provide identification and documentation proving ownership. If you’re claiming property for a loved one’s estate, you’ll also need to provide a death certificate, proof of your identity and other identifying documents the state requires. 

The claiming process is arduous and time consuming – and states can deny claims. Therefore, the more important work involves preventing future losses. The right estate planning can help. When you work with me, I’ll support you to create a comprehensive list of all your financial accounts, including banks, investment firms, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, beneficiary designations, and any other assets you own. You’ll include account numbers, contact information for each institution, and approximate values. I can even help you update this inventory annually. 

I also recommend that you store your inventory in a secure but accessible location, and make sure at least one trusted person knows where to find it and how to access it if you become incapacitated and when you die.

Finally, it’s a good rule of thumb to update your address and contact information with every financial institution whenever you move. Consider consolidating accounts where it makes sense, as fewer accounts mean fewer opportunities for something to slip through the cracks. 

The Bigger Picture

National Unclaimed Property Day shines a light on a quiet but costly truth: if no one knows what you have, where it is, or how to access it, your assets can disappear into bureaucracy. The goal isn’t just to reclaim forgotten assets. The real goal is to make sure nothing you worked for ever becomes “lost” in the first place.

This February 1, take a few minutes to search for unclaimed property. Then take the more important step of organizing your financial life so your assets stay with the people you intend to benefit from them. Your future self and your loved ones will thank you.

How I Help You Protect Your Assets and All the People You Love

National Unclaimed Property Day reminds us that even the most diligent people can lose track of assets in our increasingly complex financial world. But you don’t have to leave this to chance or rely on a once-a-year reminder to protect what you’ve worked so hard to build.

As a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm, we help you create a comprehensive Life & Legacy Plan that ensures your assets reach the people you love instead of becoming another state statistic. Once you’ve created your plan, you can rest easy knowing your wishes will be honored, your loved ones cared for, and your property protected. I also have systems in place to review and update your plan regularly as your life changes, taking the burden off your shoulders while ensuring nothing falls through the cracks.

This February 1, do more than just search for unclaimed property. Take the step that truly protects your family’s future. 

Click here to schedule a complimentary 15-minute discovery call to get started.

Your mom told you not to worry; she  had everything handled. You were her power of attorney, helping her pay bills and manage her accounts. When she passed away, you assumed you’d simply continue handling things the same way you had been.

Then you tried to deposit the insurance check. The bank clerk looked at the check, looked at your power of attorney paperwork, and shook her head. “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this. You’ll need to go through the probate court first.”

Suddenly, you’re facing a legal process you know nothing about, at a time when you can barely function through your grief. The mortgage payment is due. Bills are piling up. And everything you thought was handled has turned into a complicated mess.

Understanding why this happens starts with knowing what shifts the moment someone dies.

Authority Disappears

Most people don’t realize that any legal authority created through a Power of Attorney they may hold during a parent’s lifetime vanishes the instant that parent dies. The documents that allowed you to help manage accounts, make financial decisions, and handle day-to-day business become meaningless pieces of paper.

This catches families off guard because it seems illogical. You were trusted to handle these matters yesterday. Why can’t you handle them today? The answer lies in how the law views death. When someone dies, their legal identity changes. Assets that belonged to a living person now belong to an estate, which is a separate legal entity that must be properly administered through the court system.

Without the right planning in place beforehand, no one has automatic authority to manage estate assets. Not the closest family member. Not the person who had been helping with finances. Not even someone named in documents that worked perfectly well during the person’s lifetime.

This sudden loss of authority creates immediate practical problems that catch loved ones completely unprepared.

Accounts are Frozen

Financial institutions have strict rules about who can access accounts after someone dies. They’re legally required to protect assets until someone proves they have proper authority to manage them. This means accounts get frozen, checks get issued to estates rather than individuals, and transactions come to a halt.

For loved ones, this creates immediate practical problems. How do you pay for the funeral when you can’t access accounts? What happens to the mortgage payment that’s due next week? How do you handle utility bills, insurance premiums, or other ongoing expenses? Are you able to pay for all these expenses out of pocket? Many people can’t, especially if they have their own mortgage, utilities, health insurance premiums, college tuition, and so on.

The frustration compounds when you know the money exists. You can see the account balance. You know there are sufficient funds. But you can’t touch any of it without going through a formal legal process first. 

Unfortunately, getting access to those frozen assets requires navigating a complex legal system.

The Court Process No One Wants

When proper planning hasn’t been done, loved ones must petition the court for authority to handle estate matters. This involves filing paperwork, paying fees, attending hearings, and waiting for the court to issue documents that grant legal authority. 

The timeline varies, but generally speaking, families should expect this process to take months, not weeks. During that time, you’re juggling your own life responsibilities while also navigating an unfamiliar legal system. You’re taking time off work for court appearances. You’re gathering documentation. You’re waiting for approval on decisions that need to be made quickly. You’re also waiting for family members to sign legal paperwork and mail it to you. 

The costs add up, too. Court filing fees are just the beginning. Many families need legal help to navigate the process correctly, which means attorney fees. There may be accounting requirements. And all of these expenses come out of the estate before anything can be distributed to loved ones.

The court process is also set up for conflict, causing further delays. Heirs must receive notice of court filings, and they are able to file claims against the estate, challenge the proceedings, or dispute the amounts they may inherit. This conflict not only takes time for the court to reach any meaningful resolution, but it can also create breaks in familial relationships that never mend.

And while you’re dealing with court procedures and paperwork, the law is making decisions about your family’s future.

When the Law Decides for You

Without a will or a trust stating otherwise, state law determines who inherits what. These laws follow a rigid formula based on family relationships. For straightforward family situations, the outcome might align with what the deceased person would have wanted anyway. But the process still takes time and money.

The real problems emerge in complex family situations. Blended families. Unmarried couples. Estranged relatives. Family members with special circumstances. When state law makes these decisions, the results may not reflect what the deceased person actually wanted or what makes sense for their loved ones.

You also lose control over the details that matter. Who gets the family heirlooms? How should sentimental items be distributed? What happens to the family home? Without instructions, these decisions either get made by the court or lead to family conflict as survivors try to figure out what’s fair.

Beyond the legal and financial complications, there’s a hidden cost that families feel most deeply.

The Emotional Cost That Numbers Can’t Capture

Beyond the time and money, there’s an emotional burden that’s hard to quantify. You’re grieving while simultaneously dealing with bureaucracy. You’re making dozens of phone calls, filling out forms, and attending court hearings when you’d rather be with family and friends who are also mourning.

Family relationships can suffer too. Even in close families, the stress of managing estate matters without clear guidance can create tension. Siblings may disagree about decisions. Questions arise about whether things are being handled fairly. Old resentments can resurface when people are already emotionally vulnerable.

And through it all, you’re left wondering why this had to be so hard. Your parent didn’t intend to create this burden. They simply didn’t realize that planning was important – or that the planning they did wasn’t complete.

The good news is that none of this has to happen to you or your loved ones

A Different Path Exists

This entire situation is avoidable. With proper planning and a trusted advisor, families can bypass court proceedings, access assets without delay, and focus on healing instead of paperwork.

The difference comes down to creating a comprehensive plan that works after death, not just during life. This means thinking through who will have authority to manage affairs, how assets should be transferred, and what instructions family members will need when the time comes. It means creating a plan that documents your wishes and will work when you and your loved ones need it to.

It also means having professional support available to guide your family through the process. When you work with someone who knows you and understands your decisions, your family has a trusted advisor to turn to for help, not just a stack of documents they’re trying to interpret on their own.

Finally, the time to act is now, while you can make clear decisions and put proper protections in place. Your loved ones deserve better than being left to navigate a complex legal system during one of the hardest times of their lives.

Click here to schedule a complimentary 15-minute discovery call to learn how I can support you.

 

You open the door to your parents’ home for the first time since the funeral. Closets stuffed with decades of clothes. Cabinets filled with china no one uses. A garage packed with tools, holiday decorations, and boxes labeled “miscellaneous.” Drawers overflowing with papers, keepsakes, and items whose significance you’ll never understand. The task ahead feels impossible.

This scenario plays out in homes across America every day. With an estimated $90 trillion in assets transferring from Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation to their heirs over the next two decades, families face not just financial inheritance but a staggering amount of physical possessions to sort, distribute, donate, or discard. Without guidance from you, your loved ones will spend months or even years trying to figure out what matters, what has value, and what you would have wanted them to do with it all.

Not only that, personal belongings are the number one source of conflict when someone dies. It’s not the bank account, the house or the insurance. It’s the “stuff.” The personal items that carry emotional or sentimental value matter the most to loved ones. 

The good news? You can prevent this overwhelming situation through thoughtful planning today. In this article, you’ll learn how to organize your belongings, communicate your wishes, and create a plan that protects your family from drowning in stuff while preserving what truly matters.

Why Your Possessions Need a Plan Too

Most people think estate planning only covers financial assets like bank accounts, retirement funds, and real estate. But your estate includes everything you own, from your grandmother’s engagement ring to that collection of vintage records in the basement. Without clear direction about your personal property, you’re setting up your family for confusion, conflict, and countless hours of difficult decisions during an already painful time.

Consider the emotional weight your loved ones will carry. They’ll open every drawer wondering if they’re throwing away something important. They’ll argue over who gets mom’s jewelry or dad’s tools. Family relationships can fracture over items that have more emotional significance than monetary value, simply because no one knew what you wanted.

Sorting through a lifetime of possessions typically takes three to six months of intensive work. Your family will need to take time off work, travel back and forth if they live out of town, and make hundreds of decisions about items they may have never seen before.

Beyond the time and emotional toll, there’s real financial risk. Without proper guidance, valuable items might end up in donation bins. Collections built over decades could be sold for pennies on the dollar because no one knows their true worth. 

What about you? Have you walked through your home recently and imagined your children or other heirs trying to sort through everything? Have you considered which items hold stories they don’t know?

With proper planning now, you can spare your family this overwhelming burden and ensure your possessions become meaningful gifts rather than sources of stress and conflict. 

Start the Conversation Before It’s Too Late

The best time to address your belongings is while you’re healthy and can actively participate in meaningful conversations about your possessions. Waiting until a health crisis or until you’re gone removes your voice from the process entirely.

Begin by identifying items with special significance. Walk through your home room by room and note anything with emotional value, financial worth, or family history. That china set might have been your great-grandmother’s wedding gift. Those tools might have belonged to your father. Document these stories now, while you remember them.

Next, have honest conversations with your family about what they actually want. Many people assume their children will treasure certain items, only to discover they have different lifestyles and preferences. Your formal dining room set might not fit in their smaller home. Rather than making assumptions, ask directly what holds meaning for them.

Consider creating a personal property memorandum as part of your estate plan. This document, which can be updated without redoing your entire will, lists specific items and who should receive them. Unlike trying to divide everything in your will, which becomes difficult to change, a personal property memorandum remains flexible as your possessions and relationships evolve.

These conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they’re essential for preventing future conflict and ensuring your wishes are honored.

Make It Easier By Doing the Work Now

Start with the items you’ve been saving. Those beautiful dishes in the cabinet deserve to be used and enjoyed, not preserved behind glass. Wear the jewelry, use the silver, display the artwork. Create memories with your possessions instead of relegating them to storage.

Sort systematically by creating four categories: keep and use, give away now, designate for specific people, and dispose of. The “give away now” category is particularly powerful because you can see the joy your possessions bring to others during your lifetime.

For items with potential value, get proper appraisals. Collections of coins, stamps, antiques, or art should be professionally evaluated. Document the appraisal and include it with your estate planning documents so your family knows what they have and can make informed decisions.

Create an inventory of your items with stories or significance. A simple spreadsheet or notebook listing important items, their history, and their intended recipients can save your family countless hours of uncertainty.

Taking these steps now transforms what could be an overwhelming burden into a manageable process for your loved ones.

How Comprehensive Estate Planning Protects Your Family From the Burden

Traditional estate planning often overlooks personal property entirely, focusing on documents that address only financial assets and real estate. But your possessions deserve the same careful attention.

Real protection for your family goes far beyond having a set of documents in place. Your loved ones need a comprehensive plan that considers both the legal aspects of transferring assets and the practical realities they’ll face after you’re gone. They need clear instructions about where to find important documents, how to access accounts, and what steps to take first. Most importantly, they need guidance about what to do with your possessions while they’re grieving and facing the legal process of settling your estate. Should they hold an estate sale? Donate to specific charities? Keep certain items together as a collection? These decisions are so much easier when you’ve provided direction in your plan rather than leaving your family to guess.

You can also document the stories behind your possessions in your estate plan, explaining why certain items matter, sharing the history behind collections, and passing along the memories associated with your belongings. When your family inherits your grandmother’s ring, they’ll also inherit the story of how she wore it every day and what it meant to your family. These stories transform possessions from “stuff” into cherished connections to your memory.

Finally, review and update your plan regularly as your life and assets change. This ensures your plan will work over time and won’t fail your loved ones when they need it most.

How I Can Support You

Your possessions represent your life story, but without proper planning, they can become an overwhelming weight for your family. The choices you make now and the conversations you have today will make all the difference in how your family experiences your legacy.

I help you create a comprehensive Life & Legacy Plan so that your loved ones stay out of court and conflict and have a plan that works when they need it. Once you’ve created your plan, you can rest easy knowing your wishes will be honored, your loved ones cared for, and your assets protected. I’ll also touch base regularly to ensure your plan stays updated over time, taking the burden off your shoulders to make changes to your plan when needed. After all, you have enough to worry about each day.

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Click here to schedule a complimentary 15-minute discovery call.

When you begin thinking about estate planning, one of the first questions you might ask is whether you need a will, a trust, or both. You may have heard conflicting information from friends, social media, or TV experts, which can make the decision feel confusing. And while both wills and trusts can play an important role in your estate plan, the real question is not which document you should choose, but how to create a plan that actually works when your loved ones need it to.

In this article, you’ll learn the real difference between wills and trusts, how each works in practice, and what you should consider before making a decision. More importantly, you’ll discover why choosing the right tool is only one part of building a plan that keeps your family out of court, out of conflict, and out of costly mistakes. 

What a Will Does and What It Doesn’t Do

A will is often the first document people think of when they think about estate planning. It allows you to state who receives your assets and who you want to raise your children after you die. But a will has important limitations that most people don’t realize until it’s too late.

A will must go through probate, which is a court process that becomes public record. Even in states considered “probate-friendly,” the process can still take months or years, cost thousands of dollars, and create opportunities for conflict. If you have minor children, a will also does not prevent them from being placed in the temporary care of strangers until a judge sorts things out, unless you have a comprehensive estate plan in place. 

Importantly, a will also has no authority while you are living. If you become incapacitated, your loved ones will still need additional legal tools to manage your medical decisions, financial matters, and personal care. Without a plan that addresses incapacity, your loved ones may face court involvement, delays, and unnecessary stress during an already emotional time.

And, yes, if you have a power of attorney that does operate while you are living, BUT your power of attorney stops operating at the time of your death. I know, it can be confusing. That’s why we always begin with clear education so you understand what you are doing, and why, and then support you to choose the right plan (and fee) for you.

Because of the limitations of wills and powers of attorney alone, many people look to trusts for greater protection and privacy.

How a Trust Works 

A trust is a legal structure that can hold your assets during your lifetime and distribute them according to your instructions when you die. Unlike a will, a properly funded trust bypasses probate entirely, keeping your affairs private and allowing your loved ones to take action and handle your affairs immediately when something happens to you

A trust also gives you far more control. You can protect a child’s inheritance from divorce, lawsuits, or poor financial habits, and you can determine how and when they receive assets. With the support of an experienced attorney and ongoing plan reviews, a trust can remain aligned with your changing assets, family dynamics, and long-term wishes.

One common misunderstanding is that simply signing a trust means everything is handled. Unfortunately, traditional lawyers and DIY services often leave the most important step unfinished: funding the trust. When assets are not titled correctly, the trust fails, and your loved ones still end up in probate, which is often the very outcome the trust was meant to avoid. The real value comes from working with a lawyer who ensures every asset is properly transferred, kept up to date, and fully coordinated with your overall plan. 

So how do you decide whether you need a will, a trust, or both? It starts with understanding what you want your plan to accomplish.

Key Factors to Consider When Deciding Between a Will and a Trust

When choosing the right tools for your plan, the decision is not simply about documents. It’s about your goals, your family, and the legacy you want to leave behind. Here are some things to consider:

1. Do you want to keep your loved ones out of court?

If avoiding court, reducing conflict, and preserving privacy are important to you, a trust may be the best option. Many families believe probate court will be “simple,” but real-life stories show how quickly things can spiral. From siblings fighting over sentimental items to property stuck for years, the cost of a cheap or incomplete plan can be devastating.

2. Do you have minor children?

A will alone is not enough to protect your children. You need documents naming long-term guardians, short-term guardians,  clear instructions to avoid your children being taken into temporary custody of the authorities, and documentation that excludes anyone you’d never want to raise your kids. A trust can also preserve assets for your children and ensure caregivers receive the support they need. 

3. Do you own a home or have more than one account?

Even modest estates benefit from a trust because it simplifies management and prevents assets from slipping through the cracks. Today, unclaimed property in the U.S. exceeds $60 billion, largely because families couldn’t locate assets or the owner didn’t keep an updated inventory. A trust-based plan, paired with ongoing guidance, helps prevent your life’s work from becoming part of that statistic.

4. Do you want someone you trust to manage things if you become incapacitated?

A trust can provide immediate authority to someone you choose, avoiding a court-supervised conservatorship. This keeps your bills paid, your home maintained, and your wishes honored without court delays.

5. Do you want long-term protection for beneficiaries?

If you want your loved ones to receive assets protected from creditors, lawsuits, or divorce, a trust offers options a will simply cannot. If you have loved ones who aren’t financially responsible, suffering from addiction, or have special needs, a trust will ensure assets are protected for their benefit.

No matter which tool you choose, what matters most is that your plan works when your loved ones need it. That requires more than documents. It requires education, support, guidance and counsel. That’s why we always begin your estate planning with a Life & Legacy Planning Session.

What to Do Now

As a trusted advisor to you and your loved ones, my objective is not just to help you choose between a will and a trust. I’m here to  help you create a comprehensive estate plan, called a Life & Legacy Plan, that protects the people you love, keeps them out of court and conflict, and ensures your wishes are honored. I also have systems to review your plan over time, ensuring your plan will work when the people you loved need it, and that our firm will be there for them, when you can’t be.

If this all sounds expensive, I can assure you that it’s a lot less costly than the loss of your assets to avoidable court costs, conflict, or your loved ones simply not knowing what to do or what you have. Let’s start with a 15-minute discovery call during which we can guide you to your next best steps in identifying the most affordable and effective plan for yourself and the people you love. 

Click here to book your discovery call and get started.

You probably know you “should” have a will or a trust, but have you ever talked with your family about why your money exists in the first place? A simple family mission statement, combined with a comprehensive estate plan can dramatically increase the odds that your wealth and your relationships stay intact for generations.

You spend a lifetime working, saving, and building a life for the people you love. Yet research shows that an estimated 70% of wealthy families lose their wealth by the second generation, and around 90% lose it by the third. 

That kind of loss usually is not just about bad investing. It is about something deeper: no shared purpose, no shared story, and no shared plan.

In this article, you learn:

• What a family mission statement is (and is not).
• How it works together with your legal planning to protect both money and relationships.
• Simple steps to start your own family mission statement, even if you are not ultra-wealthy.

Why Money Alone Won’t Hold Your Family Together

Most people believe that if you leave “enough” money and the right legal documents, your work is done. Unfortunately, real life doesn’t work that way.

Research on failed wealth transfers shows that most family wealth disappears because of breakdowns in communication, lack of trust, unspoken expectations, and heirs who are unprepared for responsibility. That’s the human side of planning – the part most people never talk about. Instead, we tend to focus on the documents – a will, trust, power of attorney, and health care proxy. We don’t stop to consider that there are humans involved.

But this is where conflict often begins. Adult children may have different interpretations of your intentions. A surviving spouse may feel overwhelmed without guidance. Siblings may not agree on how assets should be used or what “fair” really means. Even in loving families, grief can magnify old wounds, create misunderstandings, and lead to decisions made from fear rather than clarity.

A family mission statement cannot prevent every disagreement, but it gives your loved ones an anchor: a shared understanding of why your resources exist and how you hope they will be used. When you pair that shared purpose with an estate plan that keeps your loved ones out of court and out of conflict, you dramatically increase the likelihood that your wealth and your relationships stay intact for generations.

Turning Your Estate Plan into a Family Playbook

A family mission statement is a short written declaration of your family’s values, purpose, and goals around life, money, and legacy. It is not a legal document, and it does not replace your will or trust. Instead, it gives context and direction to the legal plan you create.

Think of it this way. Your legal documents say what happens to your assets. Your family mission statement explains why and how you hope those assets are used.

My estate planning process is built around this idea. The goal is not to merely create a set of documents. The goal is to create a plan that actually works for the people you love when you cannot be there. That includes:

• A complete inventory of what you own, so nothing is lost or forgotten.
• Clear instructions about who does what, and how to get help.
• Regular reviews so your plan keeps up with changes in your life, the law, and your assets.

Your family mission statement sits right alongside all of this. Here is how it can support your plan:

• For blended families, it can clarify your intention to care for children from prior relationships and a current spouse, so no one is left guessing.
• For young adult children, it can explain why their inheritance may be held in trust, or why distributions are tied to education or work, helping them feels supported rather than controlled.
• For all families, it offers a shared “north star” you can revisit at family meetings, during life and after a death or incapacity.

When clients work with me, I help them see what would happen to their assets and their loved ones if they become incapacitated and when they die, and then design a plan that reflects their values, goals, and family dynamics. The family mission statement becomes part of that conversation.

Once you understand how these pieces fit together, the next step is to put your mission on paper in a way that feels real and usable, not stiff and corporate.

Simple Steps to Create Your Own Family Mission Statement 

You do not need $50 million, a private banker, or a formal “family office” to benefit from a family mission statement. You only need a willingness to be honest about what you care about and a bit of time to talk.

Here is a simple way to start:

Identify your core values.

Set aside time and list the words that matter most to you: things like generosity, learning, faith, adventure, service, or stability. Ask yourself: If my children remembered three things about what I stood for, what would they be? 

Connect values to money.

For each value, write how you want money to support it. For example:

• If you value education, maybe you want resources set aside for school, training, or starting a business.
• If you value family time, perhaps you want to fund annual trips or reunions instead of more “stuff.”
• If you value generosity, maybe you want to support specific causes or encourage your children to give a percentage of their own income.

This is where your mission starts to shape how your trust, beneficiary designations, and overall plan are designed.

Write a rough draft.

Aim for three to six sentences. Use simple language. For example:

“In this family, life is a gift and relationships matter most. Money exists to support education, meaningful experiences, and generosity, not to create entitlement. We work hard, care for one another, and use what we have to make life better for the people we love and the communities we touch.”

Your statement will be your own, but it should feel truthful enough that you are willing to read it out loud to the people you love.

Share it in a family meeting.

The real power of a family mission statement is in the conversation, not just the words. Consider inviting your spouse, partner, and adult children to a simple “family meeting” over dinner or on a weekend afternoon. Share your draft, ask for their reactions, and invite their input. The goal is not to have a debate, but to create connection and understanding.

Tie it back to your legal plan.

Once you have a mission statement, create or update your estate plan. I can help you look at whether your current plan, or the plan you still need to create, actually reflects your mission. If your mission says “family comes first,” but your legal plan leaves your family to fight it out in court, something needs to change.

Over time, you can revisit your mission statement during regular family check-ins, or when you review your plan if you work with me. Regular reviews are so important because over time, your family will change and your mission will evolve. But by having it written down and connected to a plan that works when you and your loved ones need it to, you give your loved ones a roadmap they can follow long after you are gone.

How I Can Support You

You work too hard for your wealth to disappear within a generation, and you care too much about your family to leave them with confusion, conflict, or a court process they have to face alone.

A family mission statement is an excellent start, but it only reaches its full power when you pair it with a Life & Legacy Plan that keeps your family out of court and out of conflict, and gives your loved ones a trusted advisor to turn to when something happens.

If you are ready to align your money, your legal planning, and your deepest values, I invite you to schedule a 15-minute discovery call. During this complimentary call, you can ask questions, learn about my process and flat-fee options, and decide whether a Life & Legacy Plan is right for you and the people you love.

Schedule the call by clicking here.

The SECURE Act 2.0 brought some of the biggest changes to retirement planning in decades. While most people think it only affects their retirement accounts or may not even know about these changes at all, the SECURE Act 2.0  directly impacts how your loved ones will access your retirement accounts after your death and how much they’ll pay in taxes, which could take a big bite out of their inheritance if not reconsidered now.

In this article, you’ll learn what the law changed, how these updates affect your beneficiaries, what mistakes families commonly make as a result, and how a comprehensive estate plan with regular review ensures your loved ones don’t face unnecessary taxes, delays, or stress when they need support the most.

Let’s break down the changes in a clear and simple way so you can make the best decisions for the people you love.

Why the SECURE Act 2.0 Matters for Your Loved Ones

Before diving into the details, it’s important to understand that retirement accounts work differently from other assets. These accounts come with strict rules about taxes, timing, and withdrawals. When Congress updates those rules, your family’s inheritance can change significantly –  sometimes for the better, and sometimes with surprising consequences.

The SECURE Act 2.0, passed in 2022, made several major updates to the original SECURE Act of 2019. Many of these changes shift who benefits from your retirement accounts and how quickly your beneficiaries must withdraw the money. According to the House Ways & Means Committee, this legislation represents “the most significant expansion of retirement savings opportunities in more than 15 years” (source: U.S. House Ways & Means Committee).

But opportunity only exists if your planning is aligned with the law. That’s where families often get tripped up, especially when older estate plans were built under rules that no longer exist.

As you’ll see, failing to update your plan could result in higher taxes for your beneficiaries, faster depletion of retirement accounts, and confusion that makes a difficult time even harder.

Key Changes You Need to Know

The SECURE Act 2.0 made dozens of updates, but the following are the ones that most directly affect your life and your loved ones.

• Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs) Start Later

The age at which you must start withdrawing money from your traditional IRA or 401(k) has increased. It now moves in phases:

• Age 73 for people born between 1951 and 1959
• Age 75 for people born in 1960 or later

This gives you more time for your investments to grow before you must withdraw. However, delaying RMDs may also mean larger account balances later, which could create larger required withdrawals and bigger tax bills for your heirs unless your plan accounts for it.

Why this matters: 

A larger account means larger taxable withdrawals for your beneficiaries. If your plan doesn’t include tax-minimizing strategies, they could face unnecessary tax burdens at the worst possible time.

• The 10-Year Rule for Most Beneficiaries Still Applies

Under the original SECURE Act, most beneficiaries who inherit a retirement account must empty it within 10 years,  with a few exceptions.

The SECURE Act 2.0 did not remove that rule.

This means if your child or another loved one inherits your IRA or 401(k), they may need to accelerate withdrawals, pushing them into higher tax brackets. The IRS confirms that beneficiaries who are not eligible designated beneficiaries (as defined in the tax code) must follow the 10-year withdrawal rule.

Why this matters: 

Your child could lose a significant percentage of what you hoped to leave them simply because the withdrawals are forced faster (and therefore taxed higher) than expected.

3. Changes Affecting Trusts as Retirement Account Beneficiaries

Many people name a trust as the beneficiary of their retirement accounts, often thinking it creates control or protection. But under the SECURE Act and SECURE Act 2.0, this can backfire if the trust language wasn’t updated.

Old trust provisions may unintentionally:

• Force immediate taxation
• Prevent your beneficiaries from accessing needed funds
• Require distributions that conflict with your intentions

Because tax rules surrounding trusts and retirement accounts are complex, outdated planning is now one of the leading causes of accidental tax consequences for families.

Why this matters:

If your trust was created before 2020, or even before 2023,  it may no longer work as you intended. Your loved ones may inherit a tax problem instead of a gift.

Here’s a real example of how this happens: Many trusts created before 2020 were set up to pass along retirement money slowly—just a little bit each year based on IRS rules. That made perfect sense at the time. But the new law eliminated those yearly requirements for most people.

 Now here’s the problem: if your trust says it can only distribute ‘the required amount each year,’ and there’s no required amount anymore, your trustee’s hands are tied. They can’t touch the money for nine years. Then in year ten, when the law says the entire account must be emptied, everything comes out at once. 

Instead of your child receiving manageable amounts over time, they get hit with a massive tax bill all in one year—potentially losing hundreds of thousands of dollars that you worked a lifetime to save for them.

How These Changes Affect the People You Love Most

You might notice a pattern here: while the SECURE Act 2.0 provides benefits for you during retirement, it often creates new responsibilities and tax burdens for your beneficiaries.

This is exactly why comprehensive estate planning is not just about documents. It’s about ensuring real-world clarity for the people you love.

Even small missteps can leave your family:

• Stuck in court
• Paying avoidable taxes
• Unsure how to access accounts
• Facing delays that create financial strain

And at the time they’ll need support the most, they’ll have to figure everything out alone, unless you have a comprehensive plan and a trusted advisor who already knows your family, your assets, and your wishes.

The Importance of Updating Your Plan Now

Whenever federal law changes, your estate plan must evolve with it. That is especially true for retirement accounts, because they often represent a significant portion of a family’s wealth.

Most traditional estate plans fail because they are never updated. The SECURE Act 2.0 made this even more important. A plan created even a few years ago may not work today.

When we work together, I help you:

• Review your retirement account beneficiaries
• Identify tax traps created by the 10-year rule
• Update your trust provisions
• Align every account with your goals
• Create a complete and current asset inventory
• Make sure your loved ones know exactly what to do when something happens

You don’t have to guess whether your plan will work. You can know.

Why Comprehensive Estate Planning Solves the Problems the SECURE Act Created

Unlike traditional planning, which usually ends with a signed document, a comprehensive plan includes:

• A complete, updated inventory of your assets
• Beneficiary coordination across all accounts
• Regular reviews every three years
• A trusted advisor your family can turn to when something happens
• Support for your loved ones after your death, so they aren’t left overwhelmed

These are the protections that keep your family out of court, out of conflict, and out of avoidable tax trouble.

The SECURE Act 2.0 is a reminder that laws change, and when they do, your plan must change with them. A static plan fails. A relationship-based plan works when your loved ones need it the most.

How To Learn More

If you want to make sure the SECURE Act 2.0 doesn’t create unnecessary financial or emotional stress for your loved ones, the best place to begin is a Life & Legacy Planning® Session. During this session, you’ll get clear on what you have, how the law affects your family, and what steps will ensure everything works exactly as you intend.

Your family deserves certainty, not surprises.

Click here to schedule your 15-minute discovery call, and learn how I can support you.

Michael Duarte had everything to live for. At 39, the popular food influencer was building his brand, sharing recipes with millions of followers, and raising his 6-year-old daughter Oakley with his wife Jessica. His content brought joy to countless people who watched his sizzling barbecue videos and creative flavor combinations.

Then, on November 8, 2025, everything changed. Duarte died during what should have been an ordinary trip to Texas. His death was sudden, unexpected, and left his family scrambling not just emotionally, but financially. A GoFundMe page appeared almost immediately, asking for help to bring his body home to California and cover funeral expenses. The page’s words haunt anyone who reads them: “This heartbreak came without warning.”

Those five words capture a truth most of us avoid thinking about. Death doesn’t send a courtesy notice. It doesn’t wait until your finances are in order or your child is grown. In this article, I’ll explore why estate planning matters for everyone, regardless of age or health, and how proper preparation can transform your family’s experience from financial crisis to financial security when the unthinkable happens.

The False Security of Youth and Health

When you’re in your thirties or forties, death feels distant. You think you have time to get your affairs in order, time to build wealth, time to plan. Except sometimes you don’t. Duarte was 39. He reportedly had survived earlier struggles, including mental health challenges and subsequent treatment. He’d rebuilt his life and career. Nothing about his situation suggested his life would end last month in Texas.

The question isn’t whether death will come, it’s whether you’ll have prepared for it. Each death leaves behind families who must simultaneously grieve and navigate financial realities. 

Think about your own situation for a moment. If something happened to you tomorrow, would your family immediately need to start a GoFundMe campaign? Would they know where to find your financial accounts? Would they have the resources to cover immediate expenses while figuring out their new reality?

The Hidden Costs of Unpreparedness

When someone dies without an estate plan, the costs extend far beyond funeral expenses. Duarte’s family faced the immediate burden of transporting his body from Texas to California, which alone can cost thousands of dollars. Then come funeral and burial costs, which average between $6,280-$8,300 according to the National Funeral Directors Association.

But those are just the beginning. Without clear planning, loved ones often face probate costs that can consume months and thousands of dollars in court fees and attorney fees. If Duarte contributed significantly to household income through his influencer work, that revenue stream disappeared instantly, creating immediate cash flow problems.

Those left behind must make countless financial and legal decisions during what may be the worst period of their lives. Every decision requires mental energy, while the clock keeps ticking on bills and obligations. Without proper planning, families often discover that assets they thought they’d inherit are tied up in court for months or even years, or worse, lost entirely because no one knew they existed. 

Beyond Basic Life Insurance

Many people believe having life insurance means they’re covered. However, life insurance proceeds can take weeks or even months to receive. Meanwhile, funeral homes want payment, mortgage companies expect their monthly check, and utility companies don’t pause billing because someone died. Not to mention, life insurance payable outright or to a minor beneficiary is not protected from future creditors, predators or a future divorce, and if payable to a minor could get decimated by court costs and executor fees.

What your loved ones need is comprehensive planning that addresses not just the transfer of money, but the practical realities of daily life after you’re gone. This means your loved ones need to know where to find important documents, how to access accounts, and what steps to take first. How will your spouse manage the mortgage? What about your children’s future education costs? These questions require thoughtful answers now, not desperate scrambling later.

What Effective Planning Actually Looks Like

Creating an effective estate plan isn’t about obsessing over death. It’s about ensuring that if something happens to you, your family can focus on healing rather than financial survival. Here’s what comprehensive planning includes:

• A thorough inventory of all your assets, updated regularly so nothing you care about is lost . This includes financial accounts, digital assets, business interests, and even sentimental items with instructions for their distribution.
• Clear instructions for accessing accounts and benefits. Your family shouldn’t have to play detective, calling dozens of companies trying to track down accounts.
• Immediate access to financial assets. Rather than leaving your family to wait weeks for insurance proceeds, proper planning ensures funds are available immediately to cover urgent expenses.
• Legal documents that actually work when needed. Depending on your situation, you may need trusts, powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and guardianship designations properly drafted and stored where they can be found.
• A relationship with a trusted advisor who will support your family. Perhaps most valuable is having someone who knows you and your situation so your family won’t be left alone trying to navigate complex legal and financial processes. We’ve structured the pricing and packaging of our services to make it a near no-brainer for you to choose us as your long-term trusted advisor helping you make wise choices for your life and legacy, and to be there for your loved ones when you can’t be. 
• Regular reviews to ensure everything stays current. Life changes constantly. Without regular reviews, your plan can become outdated quickly.

Michael Duarte’s story is heartbreaking, but it doesn’t have to become your story. The time to plan is now, while you’re here to make decisions and while you can spare your loved ones the additional burden of financial uncertainty.

We Help You Protect Your Family’s Financial Future

Real protection goes far beyond having documents in place. Your loved ones need a plan that considers both the legal aspects of transferring assets and the practical realities of daily life after you’re gone. Most importantly, they need a trusted advisor to turn to for guidance when they need it. I have systems in place to review and update your plan on an ongoing basis as your life and assets change, and I’ll be available to your family when you’re gone to guide them so they know exactly what to do.

If you’re realizing your own family would face similar struggles if something happened to you tomorrow, take the first step today. I help you create a comprehensive Life & Legacy Plan that ensures your assets are protected, your wishes are honored, and your loved ones are cared for, no matter what happens.

Click here to schedule a complimentary 15-minute discovery call and learn how I can support you.

When adult siblings come together to care for aging parents, something unexpected often happens. Instead of bringing families closer, the experience frequently exposes old wounds and creates new rifts that never fully heal. What should be a time of unity becomes a source of lasting conflict.

With over 37 million Americans providing unpaid eldercare, these painful dynamics play out across the country every single day. And while you may be focused on caring for your own parents right now, there’s an uncomfortable truth you need to face: someday, your children might be in this exact position, trying to coordinate your care.

The question is, will you leave them a roadmap or a minefield?

Why Family Caregiving Brings Out the Worst in Siblings

When adult children must coordinate care for aging parents, even the most harmonious families can find themselves in conflict. One sibling often ends up shouldering most of the burden, either because they live closest, lack other family obligations, or simply feel they have no choice. Meanwhile, other siblings may remain distant, physically or emotionally, leaving one person to manage the daily challenges alone.

The resentment that builds isn’t really about logistics at all. According to experts in family psychology, caregiving triggers all the old family dynamics that may have been dormant for decades. Questions that were never resolved demand answers suddenly: Who was the favorite child? Who always got more attention? Who was expected to carry more responsibilities while others got a free pass?

These aren’t new wounds. They’re old ones, reopened under the stress and exhaustion of caregiving.

Think about your own family for a moment. Are there unresolved tensions lurking beneath the surface? Unequal treatment that was never addressed? Resentments that have been quietly building for decades? If so, the pressure of caring for aging parents will almost certainly bring them roaring back to life.

Some adult children find themselves confronting family patterns they’ve tolerated their whole lives, but can no longer accept as caregivers. Others discover that siblings they thought they knew reveal unexpected sides of themselves under pressure. And many realize too late that assumptions about who would help and how much were never actually discussed – leaving everyone frustrated and disappointed.

But here’s the part most people miss while they’re caught up in managing their parents’ care: this isn’t just about the present. The way you and your siblings navigate this challenge is setting the stage for how your own children will handle your care someday.

Your Children Are Watching and Learning

Here’s what most people don’t realize: your children are taking notes. They’re observing how you and your siblings handle (or mishandle) these challenges. They’re watching relationships crack under pressure. And whether you realize it or not, you’re teaching them how elder care works in your family.

The patterns you’re living through today are likely to repeat when your children face the same situation with you.

If you and your siblings are locked in conflict over your parents’ care, your children may assume that’s simply how these situations unfold. If one child is bearing the entire burden while others disappear, that imbalance might seem normal to the next generation. And if your family never discusses expectations or creates a clear plan for fair division of responsibilities, your children will inherit that same dysfunction.

Unless you do something different.

And that’s where the opportunity lies. You have the power to break this cycle and create a different experience for your children – one that doesn’t involve the confusion, resentment, and fractured relationships that so many families endure. But it requires action now, not later.

Breaking the Cycle: Having the Difficult Conversations Now

The good news is that you have the opportunity to spare your children from this pain. You can break the cycle by having the difficult conversations early, before a crisis forces your hand.

First, talk with your children about your wishes for your care as you age. What kind of medical interventions do you want? Where do you want to live? How do you envision the last chapter of your life unfolding? Don’t leave them guessing.

Second, facilitate a conversation among your children about what a fair division of caregiving might look like. Everyone’s definition of fairness is different. One child might be comfortable managing finances but uncomfortable with hands-on care. Another might live nearby and be willing to handle day-to-day needs if someone else coordinates medical appointments remotely.

The key is having these conversations before anyone feels desperate, overwhelmed, or resentful. When adult children wait until a parent is in crisis to figure out caregiving responsibilities, emotions run too high for productive discussion.

Third, put the necessary legal documents in place. This includes power of attorney for legal and financial matters and an advanced medical directive specifying who makes healthcare decisions if you cannot. These documents give your children clear authority and prevent confusion about who’s in charge during a crisis.

Of course, having conversations is one thing. Making sure you have the right legal guidance and direction  in place is another. And that’s where many families make a critical mistake – they assume a simple will or even a comprehensive set of legal documents is enough to protect their loved ones.

A Plan That Works For Your Family (and a Trusted Advisor to Support)

If you’re thinking, “I’ll just create a will and call it done,” you’re missing the bigger picture. A will only addresses what happens after you die. It does nothing to help your children care for you while you’re alive, keep your loved ones out of court or to prevent the conflicts that tear families apart during that caregiving journey.

Instead, what you want is a comprehensive plan that addresses both your care during life and the distribution of your assets after death. 

This type of plan includes:

• Healthcare directives that spell out your wishes for end-of-life care and appoint someone to make medical decisions if you’re incapacitated
• Durable power of attorney for financial decisions, so someone can manage your bills, insurance, and other financial matters if you cannot
• Clear documentation of your assets, accounts, insurance policies, and important information so your children aren’t left scrambling to find what you have and where it is
• A plan that keeps your estate out of probate court, allowing your children to access resources immediately rather than waiting months or years for court approval
• Regular reviews and updates as your life changes, ensuring your plan continues to reflect your current wishes and circumstances
• A trusted advisor to counsel all of the decisions you’ll be making throughout your life, get to know your family and be there for them, when you can’t be

A comprehensive plan should also include support for the human elements, like having honest conversations with your children about your values, your wishes, and your hopes for how they’ll work together when the time comes.

This is your opportunity to tell your children directly what matters most to you. To explain why certain decisions are important. To address potential sources of conflict before they explode under pressure. And to permit them to prioritize their relationship with each other over any inheritance.

Creating this kind of comprehensive plan might feel overwhelming, especially if you’re already dealing with the stress of caring for aging parents. That’s exactly why working with someone who understands both the legal and emotional complexities can make all the difference.

How I Can Help

When you work with me, I don’t just create documents and send you on your way. I help you build a Life & Legacy Plan that protects your family relationships as much as it protects your assets. We start with education about what would happen to you and your family without a plan in place. Then we work together to create a comprehensive plan that reflects your unique family dynamics, your values, and your wishes for care.

Book a call with me today to learn more by clicking here.

We’ve all been there. The holiday White Elephant gift exchange starts out fun and lighthearted. But then Uncle Jim steals the massage gun he bought in hopes of winning it for himself. The married couples start tag-teaming to keep the best gifts between them. Cousin Sarah gets stuck with the singing fish. Someone’s definitely holding a grudge about that coffee mug from three swaps ago.

Now imagine that same dynamic, except instead of gag gifts, it’s Dad’s classic car, Mom’s jewelry, or the family cabin. And there are no rules, no turns, and no laughing it off afterward.

The Game Nobody Wants to Play

Without a proper estate plan, that’s exactly what happens when families are left to figure things out after someone passes. The stakes are infinitely higher, and the damage can last generations.

At least White Elephant has rules. Everyone knows when their turn is, there’s a limit on how many times something can be stolen, and everyone agreed to play. When someone dies without a clear plan, there are no rules, no referee, and definitely no agreement about who gets what.

When “Stealing” Gets Real

Just like in White Elephant, family members fight over the same items, feel cheated when someone else gets what they expected, and keep score of who got “more.” They may form alliances against other family members and harbor resentment that lasts years. The difference? You can’t laugh it off at next year’s party. These wounds often never heal.

Without clear direction, the state’s rules decide who gets what, someone has to go to court to be put in charge (expensive and time-consuming), and family members may race to claim items before others can. Sentimental value gets ignored in favor of monetary value. Verbal promises mean nothing without documentation. Children from different relationships battle current spouses.

Creating Clarity Instead of Conflict

At my firm, we’ll help you create more than just documents. We ensure everyone knows exactly what you want to happen, with your chosen person in charge rather than whoever gets to court first. Sentimental items go to the people who’ll treasure them, and your values and wishes guide every decision.

Most importantly, we help you have these conversations now, while you can explain your decisions and share your love, instead of leaving your family to guess and argue later. During our Life & Legacy PlanningⓇ Session, you’ll get clear on what you own and what it’s worth, decide who should receive what and why, and create a plan that actually works when your family needs it.

This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Peace

While other families are strategizing their White Elephant steals and nursing grudges over who ended up with what, you can give your family something priceless: the gift of never having to fight over your estate.

Click here to schedule your complimentary 15-minute Discovery Call today to take the first step.

As the holidays approach, families gather to share food, laughter, and stories. But amid the joy, there is often an unspoken truth: many families avoid the conversations that matter most. What will happen when you are gone? How will your loved ones be cared for? What legacy will you leave behind?

This season offers a rare opportunity to bring love, not fear, into these important conversations. In this article, you will learn how to shift your mindset about death and money, how to open heartfelt conversations with your family, and how to turn those talks into meaningful action with a Life & Legacy Plan.

Shifting the Conversation About Death and Money

Most people put off estate planning because they don’t want to face their mortality, or they think of death as something that won’t happen anytime soon. Money is also too often a taboo subject in our culture. It’s no wonder, then, that 55% of Americans don’t have an estate plan. And this number doesn’t account for those who have an outdated plan that no longer works, so the actual number is much lower.

But what if we flipped the script when we think of death and money? What if death and money weren’t topics to be avoided, but to be embraced? Death is a natural part of life, and planning for what happens to your assets and to your loved ones is an expression of love. Planning ensures everyone you love has clarity and knows exactly what to do when the time comes. Instead of viewing estate planning as preparing for the end, see it as protecting your loved ones’ beginning after you die.

This mindset shift is powerful because it changes estate planning from something you feel you have to do into something you want to do out of devotion to your loved ones. When you think about your plan as a message of care, you begin to see every decision differently. Choosing a guardian for your children, designating beneficiaries, or even making end-of-life medical choices becomes less about control and more about making things as easy on your loved ones as possible after your death.

It also helps to recognize that the way we talk about death influences how our loved ones experience it. When you model openness and calm, your loved ones learn to approach loss with grace rather than fear. 

To start shifting your own mindset, focus on legacy, not loss. Ask yourself:

• What stories, lessons, or values do I want my loved ones to carry forward?
• How can I make life easier for them when I am gone?
• What message of love do I want them to hear when they think of me?
• How can I ensure their financial security when I’m no longer there?

When you anchor your thoughts in love, the topic of death becomes not a burden, but a gift.

How to Bring Your Family Into the Conversation

Once you have reframed estate planning as an act of care, the next step is helping your loved ones see it the same way. The holidays are the perfect time. Surrounded by gratitude and reflection, your family is already thinking about what matters most – each other.

You can open the conversation gently with something like, “I have been thinking about how much you mean to me, and I want to make sure you are cared for no matter what happens.” This kind of introduction immediately sets a tone of reassurance. It communicates that your motivation is love, not fear. From there, the conversation can unfold naturally and meaningfully.

Here are several ways to make it comfortable and productive:

Choose the Right Setting. Pick a quiet moment rather than a busy or emotional one. After dinner, during a walk, or while sitting by the fire can be ideal times when everyone feels relaxed and connected.

Invite Participation. Instead of delivering information, ask questions. “What do you think would make things easier for you if something ever happened to me?” When you involve your loved ones, it helps them feel included rather than intimidated.

Acknowledge the Emotion. It is natural for people to feel uneasy at first. You might say, “I know this is not easy to talk about, but I feel peaceful knowing we can share our thoughts now while we have the chance.” By naming the discomfort, you take away its power.

Focus on Values, Not Just Logistics. You can share your philosophy about life, your hopes for how your loved ones will handle challenges, and your dreams for their future. This turns a potentially uncomfortable topic into a moment of connection.

Once you have created that sense of trust, move into the practical matters that bring real clarity.

Explain the why behind your choices. If you have chosen specific people for roles such as executor or guardian, explain your reasoning. Understanding prevents hurt feelings and reduces the risk of future conflict. Also acknowledge that some people may feel slighted. Welcome their emotions with compassion.

Discuss your wishes for care. Share who you would want to make medical or financial decisions for you if you become incapacitated. Explain why you’ve chosen that person.

Provide a financial overview. You do not need to disclose every number, but share where your key assets are located and how to access them. Every year, billions of dollars go unclaimed because families simply do not know what exists. A simple list or inventory can make all the difference. When you work with us, we will support you to create an asset inventory as an inherent part of our Life & Legacy Planning® process.

Share your legacy beyond money. Perhaps the most meaningful part of this conversation is the intangible legacy – your wisdom, values, stories, and love. A Life & Legacy Interview, also an inherent part of my process, ensures your loved ones will always be able to hear your voice and remember what mattered most to you. In my experience, this matters more to them than the money you leave behind.

When you approach the conversation with empathy and intention, it becomes not a grim discussion but a sacred exchange of love and gratitude.

How Life & Legacy Planning Turns Talk Into Action

A heartfelt family conversation is a powerful beginning, but what truly protects your loved ones is turning that conversation into action. That is where Life & Legacy Planning comes in.

Traditional estate planning focuses only on creating documents. Life & Legacy Planning is different because it focuses on creating results. It is a relationship-based process that ensures your plan reflects your goals, your assets, and your values, while also being updated as your life and the law change, so it works when you and your loved ones need it to.

When you create your Life & Legacy Plan with me, you will:

• Create a complete inventory of your assets so nothing is lost or forgotten.
• Receive ongoing support from my office to ensure your plan always stays current and doesn’t fail you or your loved ones.
• Capture and preserve your stories, values, and love through a Life & Legacy Interview.
• Ensure your loved ones know what to do and how to access what they need when the time comes.

Life & Legacy Planning transforms estate planning from a transaction into a lifelong relationship with a trusted advisor who will support your family when they need it most.

Imagine how much peace it will bring to your loved ones to know exactly where things are, whom to call, and how to handle every detail when the time comes. Instead of confusion or chaos, they will have clarity and guidance. That is the true gift of planning.

The Greatest Gift of All

Talking about death, money, and your wishes might not seem festive, but it is one of the most meaningful and loving acts you can offer. When your loved ones understand what to do, how to do it, and why it matters, they can focus on what truly counts: honoring your life and carrying your love forward.

Having open and honest conversations about death and money transforms estate planning from fear to freedom. It gives your loved ones the space to grieve without added stress, to make decisions without conflict, and to move forward with confidence.

Your Next Step

This holiday season, take the opportunity to talk about what truly matters – your love, your values, and your wishes for your loved ones’  future. Then take action to ensure those wishes are carried out.

As your Personal Family Lawyer® Firm, we will help you create a Life & Legacy Plan that protects everyone you love, keeps them out of court and conflict, and ensures your legacy lives on.

Start the conversation now, and then let me support you to create a plan that gives your loved ones peace of mind for generations to come.

Schedule your complimentary 15-minute Discovery Call today by clicking here.